Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Tears for Tots

There is nothing that sparks that Christmas spirit more than terrorizing your child completely by forcing them to sit on a stranger's lap and then walking away immediately, giving the child the idea that you are leaving him with this freak. Forever. These parents may as well park their little ones in front of the TV and pop in "The Shining" DVD because quite frankly it would invoke the same reaction. For example:




This little girl displays the locked elbow Heisman push off of Santa yet still retains the presence of mind to not only protect herself, but her candy too.



I give this boy an A++ because he is really trying to keep it together.


This poor dear refuses to give into the fear even though she knows she is trapped. This will be the longest two minute photo session of her entire life.



This is little Caroline. She converted to Judaism shortly thereafter...


This is totally inappropriate but there is only one thought going through this boys head. And, let's be honest, yours too.



Farley lives!


Valiant effort in escaping. I don't know what's worse, the fact that this Santa won't give in and free the kid or that the parents used it as their Christmas Card.



This is what I am calling the Santa Sibling Sumo Hold and it should be illegal.




He's right behind me, isn't he.......


She's scared, but she's sucking it up for crying out loud....MAN UP BIG BROTHER!


The classic 'Scream and Reach'. Unfortunately for these children the person they are screaming and reaching for is the same person that put them in this situation.



Even at 6 months old this baby knows it's fight or flight. And Santa, do something about that moustache, please. This is Christmas, not Magnum PI. Jerk.


It is emblazoned on our brains to never, EVER, take candy from strangers and yet Santa is luring him with a tempting treat, while Mom is in the background encouraging him to take it. This type of parenting gets a F-.




Now, what do you do when one of your children is enjoying himself immensely while the other is having a coronary? A classic Christmas time dilemma.....


I am SO doing this....


The Hypocrite Grip, aka the "Hypogrip". Santa pleadingly looks at the parents as if to say "do something, your child is terrified!", and yet, he still doesn't let go.....

AND FINALLY, THE CREEPIEST SANTA IN THE WORLD AWARD GOES TO:

drum roll drum roll drum roll.......

Cue the music from 'Halloween' here.