Sadness.

Michael Jackson's Funeral LIVE BLOG!

1:20 p.m. EST
The Memorial Service at the Staples Center in LA is underway. I'm watching it live on msnbc.com. So far it is pretty boring. I guess Smokey Robinson and Diana Ross opened the service with some remarks, however I just tuned in and missed that part. But now......nothing. People are just sitting in the theater. And Brian Williams is struggling to keep things interesting for the viewers watching on TV. It's painful. He looks like this:

So. Here we are. At the Staples Center. Anyone want to say anything about Michael? OMG am dying. WTF is going on? First Smokey, then Diana, now....nothing. Did I mention we are live? At the Staples Center? Doesn't Kobe Bryant play here?

1:37 p.m. EST

The Brothers Jackson wheel Michael in, wearing sunglasses, black suits, yellow ties & each with one silver glove.....

..... I heard the casket cost $25,000.

P.S. I don't think he's in it.

1:42 p.m. EST Mariah Carey and some dude are singing "I'll Be There". It's very pretty. Mariah sounds a lot like Michael when he was 11.

Why is she always doing that thing with her hand?

1:49 p.m. EST
Queen Latifah is reading a poem by Maya Angelou called "We Had Him". It's really lovely.

1:52 p.m. EST

Lionel Richie just came out to sing!!! I luuuvvvvv Lionel. Dancin' on the Ceiling, OH SING IT LIONEL!!! Oh wait, no, it's some gospel song.

I store nuts in my cheeks.

1:59p.m. EST
A lovely eulogy by someone from the Motown industry. Didn't catch his name, but I did catch this brief shot of the Brothers Jackson. In the event you didn't believe me when I described their wardrobe selectch.......

HEE-HEE!

2:06p.m.EST

A video montage of Michael throughout his life. I am crying. Didn't know I would have such a reaction. Now Stevie Wonder is speaking and about to sing. This is gonna be GOOD. Where are those tissues........

2:11p.m. EST

Stevie. You can hear a pin drop, both at the Staples Center and my office. I think everyone is watching....

2:18p.m. EST

Kobe Bryant and Magic Johnson. Kobe unselfishly talked about Michael's charitable contributions, while Magic talked about Kentucky Fried Chicken.

2:25p.m.EST

Jennifer Hudson is singing "Will You Be There" from the Free Willy soundtrack. I really like this song. And I did NOT know J Hud was preggers?!?!

2:32p.m. EST

Al Sharpton. This will cross boundries unnecessarily.

I loooove the sound of my own voice. Ob-AHMa!

2:36p.m. EST
John Mayer doing an acoustical version of one of MJ's songs. It's pretty awesome. Even though he's not singing he's still managing one of his ugly faces.

2:40p.m.EST

Brooke Shields, MJ's BFF. She speaks of their natural and easy friendship as kids. She is boing, yet I am touched.

2:55p.m. EST

Martin Luther Kings children speak about legacies. But I can't help but be distracted by the tempting video on the lower left corner that's titled "Where's Jackson's chimp Bubbles?"

3:02p.m. EST

A Congresswoman from Texas speaks of how EVERYONE is innocent until proven guilty. I am not sure why, but then I am of reminded of the sleezy Congressman who committed political suicide by naming Jackson a pedophile a few days ago. And then she saluted him on behalf of the United States Congress. SAH-NNAPP!!!

3:09p.m. EST

Usher is singing. Is it bad that I am over this??? When is this thing gonna end.

3:19p.m. EST

A little British boy named Shaheen, who was supposed to tour with MJ. They gave him the honor of singing a solo at his funeral. WOWSAHS.

3:30p.m. EST

A whole ensemble of folks came out to sing "We Are The World" transitioning into "Heal The World", and shockingly, Michael's children are exuberantly singing on stage with everyone else! Good sports, I guess.

All in all, quite a production. I enjoyed it. I wouldn't sit through it again, but I enjoyed it!

Can I get a Hallelujah?!? And a side of grits....

My friends Matt & Jane invited me to the House of Blues this past Sunday, where we enjoyed the 'Gospel Brunch'. It is the only place where your soul can be served grits with a nice juicy side of Jesus. My adventures at Gospel Brunch as follows:

At the ticket window. The tickets were somewhere in the area of $40. I guess Jesus ain't payin for this brunch himself, so I agreed to the cost.
Outside of House of Blues / Fenway Park. The trucks belong to the crew who were breaking down from John Henry's wedding the night before. His wedding to a 30 year old. He is 60. Eww.

A fascinating display of hand painted jazz shoes nestled together on the ceiling of the vestibule. The sassiness of it all exceeds what I expected and am even more excited than ever to enter the Music Hall.

The sign outside of the Music Hall, as we waited with salivating mouths and evils to repent from. It reads:
"Moshing, Crowd Surfing, Head Walking and Stage diving leads to injury for yourself and of those around you, please DO NOT engage in these activities. You are subject to EJECTION if you mosh, crown surf, head walk or stage dive. Thank you for your cooperation."

Upon reading this sign, I must check myself......this is BRUNCH, right?!?!

Grits. I do not partake.

My plate. What I selected is as follows:

12:00 ~ biscuits and chicken gravy (hi y'all!)

1:00 ~ cocktail sauce for shrimp at 3:00

2:00 ~ jambalaya (and it ain't Zataran's!)

3:00 ~ shrimp. to go with the cocktail sauce I have placed at 1:00. I realize it is sloppy of me to have separated the sauce and the shrimp by the jambalaya. I too, am irked.

4:00 & 5:00 ~ Waffle, with maple butter and maple syrup. Yes I am aware of how dangerously close the shrimp is to my waffle.

6:00 & 7:00 ~ scrambled eggs

8:00 & 9:00 ~ a mouthwatering sampling of melons

10:00 & 11:00 ~ a sassy rendition of home fried potatoes

My fellow diners in the Music Hall as we wait for the Gospel Choir to start their performance. Right in the middle of this photo is a little man, wearing a white t-shirt, bandana, and he's walking. He was sitting at our table, and we think he was famous. Since we couldn't figure out who he was, we referred to him as "Little Itty Bitty Famous Guy."

A desparate attempt by Jane to photograph Little Itty Bitty Famous Guy, under the disguise of photographing me sampling my bloody mary. You can barely make him out....

It begins.

The emcee, who jumped off stage and for some reason shoved the microphone under Jane's nose, encouraging her to yell 'HALLELUJAH'. You can't see Jane, but you can see her cheek, and she is clearly red with embarassement. I could not be more pleased with this turn of events.

Jane and I. Jane is still clearly in shock after being victimized by the HALLELUJAH lady.

Ahhh.... the Temple Worshippers! They begin!! Praise JESUS.

Not a clear image of my two fave choir ladies. One is tiny and the other is large. And MAN could they sing.

Matt. Feeling 'his praise'. It is at this point that I begin to question why I was raised in the Protestant Episcopalian church. Cuz this is WAY. MORE. FUN.

My girls again. I imagine they are named Celice and Nila.

The Choir Director. She was awesome.

They pulled all the people who were celebrating birthdays up on stage. These folks were required to do a dance and shake it. In front of everybody. I am just thanking God that it isn't Jane's birthday. She would die.

Blogs To Come, Emergency Appendectomy's, World's End and Gluten Free Baking. Can I get a Hallelujah?!?!

Hello! I have been delinquent with my blog, but I can assure you it is not due to lack of interest. I am working on two blogs; one about the most delicious brunch I had on Sunday that became a spiritual event; and the other about the most amazing little hike we had on Saturday. Sounds boring, but I can assure you it will be entertaining! I can't find the thingy for my camera that helps me download the pics to my computer, so please be patient. There are two clues in this blog title. Chew on that for a while.....

In addition to the two adventures I had over the weekend that you will soon find out about, my best friend Lisa had a horrible emergency appendectomy. So I have been helping take care of her as well. I have been a Visiting Nurse, of sorts.

So now, I have to share with you this fabulous recipe I made last night. My boss's birthday is today, so I wanted to bring in a decadent morsel to help celebrate it. HOWEVER, (in addition to being the cutest Dutch woman you will ever meet) my boss is:

a) Lactose Intolerant
b) Can only eat Gluten Free foods
c) Cannot eat Wheat
d) Hates Chocolate
e) Is a Vegetarian

Oh boy.

So what to do? I racked my brain, flirted with the idea of this dessert and that dessert, but could never come up with anything that would enable her to actually enjoy it. There was always a road block somewhere, in some recipe. You think you found the perfect one and then *BAM*, it asks for milk, yogurt, or chocolate.
After hours of grueling research to find the perfect match for her birthday sweet tooth, I found it.

CARROT CAKE.

But then, I thought WAIT A MINUTE, cream cheese frosting she cannot have! DAMMIT! But I did not despair. I went to Whole Foods to buy my gluten-free, wheat-free Soy flour and explored the land of non-dairy dairy products. And guess what, non-dairy, vegan, gluten-free cream cheese exists!!! The recipe went off without a hitch and it is DELICIOUS. Trust.

This was easily the most amazing gluten-free, wheat-free, vegan, non-dairy* carrot cake experience of my life.

*she can eat eggs. I did add the eggs.

Dina from RHofNJ's on "My Big Fat Fabulous Wedding"

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Mourning The Right "Stars"

Three sad losses in Hollywood this week. First Ed McMahon, then Farrah Fawcett, and Michael Jackson following suit hours later and completely stealing her thunder. I KNOW I'm a bad person for saying that, however, I would like to remind you that Farrah FOUGHT to stay alive, and courageously battled one of the worst, most unpleasant cancers you could get, not like any of them are pleasant. She wanted to live, she didn't want to die. So I just decided last night that I am going to grieve with Team Farrah, even though the 10 year old girl inside of me is sad that Michael Jackson from 'Thriller' fame has died. Team Farrah. All the way.

There is some confusion in Hollywood as I write these very words. MJ fans are flocking to his star on the Walk Of Fame. Unfortunately, his star is located in front of Mann's Chinese Theater, where Bruno had its premier last night. So his star has been inconveniently covered by red-carpety-movie-premier-thingys. And his fans are confused and flocking to ANOTHER Michael Jackson's star, located a mile away on Vine Street. The other MJ was a famous radio personality. Never heard of him. How awkward. Anyway, photos below of the Walk of Fame.....

The 'real' star, belonging to the King of Pop, Michael Jackson.

And sadly, the movie Bruno premiered last night at Mann's Chinese Theater, where MJ's star is located out front. Note the plethora of equipment, and red-carpet things covering MJ's "area".

The 'other' Michael Jackson, and his star. A radio personality of some sort that I have never heard of. Note how dirty it is.

Mourners, publically grieving at the star of Michael Jackson, Unheard of Radio Personality. Note the man in the lower left corner, with glasses, cap and white shirt. He is clearly a King of Pop impersonator, and should know that this is not his idol's star. For shame!!

A sad display. Farrah Fawcett's star, from afar. Only one mourner. Cannot be sure if she is an impersonator. I see bell bottoms but no spectacular hair silhouette. Regardless, I respect her for holding vigil while everyone else is at the other guy's star.

8 Hours after her death and folks have already forgotten about her, choosing to visit with the fake Michael Jackson star instead. I am sick and saddened for my angel......

RIP Farrah.

FINALLY saw 'The Hangover' Last Night!!

Go see this movie!! It is off the hook funny. It's a leave-your-brain-at-the-door movie but it was OMG, LOL, LMAO, OTFLMAO hilaaarrrrioussss!!!!
This clip is a song the characeter 'Stu' sang when they were trying to find their missing friend Doug. Their hangover is so bad they have no idea why they a) have a tiger in their Vegas suite, b) why Stu is missing a tooth, c) why the Chinese Mob and Mike Tyson are after them for two totally unrelated things.

That is just touching upon the many other things they have to figure out after a night of being blacked out drunk. The end is the best part, TRUST.