I Am Stupider Now

Normally I would be angered by a headline with such a ridiculously blatant grammatical error, especially from a site like msnbc.com (see circled headline above).

I am not angry, however, because quite like the people at msnbc, I too, am that much more DUMB than I was before I watched last night's Season Finale of 'The Bachelor'. It is with much sadness that I report to you that several of my brain cells died last night during this 2 hour excuse for entertainment. The problem is, is that it's like what I imagine heroin or crack to be. You just get sucked into it and can't bare to pull yourself away, even though you know it is killing the parietal and frontal lobes of your brain. I have partial brain damage today, I am sure of it......

If you missed it, and I pray to God you did, last night was the night when Jason Mesnick, a.k.a. The Bachelor, had to select one of the two final women left standing in the reality dating show, Molly and Melissa. Two hours I watched him profess his love for both women, women he had known for a matter of weeks. For two hours I watched Molly and Melissa cry on and off, but I also watched Jason cry, except there was no 'off' there was just 'on' and what I mean by that is that Jason NEVER stopped crying. And by crying I mean quite literally collapsing into a pile of mush and weeping/sobbing openly for all to see and hear. His four year old son was more masculine than he was at that point.

In the end, he chose Melissa, a former Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader, and a veteran of reality TV. Melissa "Going-For-30-Not-15-Minutes-Of-Fame" Rycroft can be seen in two prior seasons of the riveting reality TV show called 'Making of the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders'. I would've been pulling for her had the show she had already been on been called maybe something like oh I don't know, "Making of a Rhodes Scholar"......

So the show ended with the two of them hootin and hollerin about their love on top of some hill in New Zealand. And then they, oh haha, get this, they, OMG I can't believe it, it was hilarious, they....they hahaha they JUMPED INTO THE POOL WITH ALL THEIR CLOTHES ON!!!

It was at this point that I had to come to terms with the fact, that it's official, I am an idiot. These people aren't idiots, I AM. There goes two hours of my life I'll never get back.

Oh and of course it didn't stop there.....we had the after show called 'The Bachelor: After The Final Rose". Another hour!! The show was meant to recap with the happy couple and see how blissful everything has been since taping ended, while also inviting the woman who didn't get chosen, to recap with The Bachelor himself in order to maintain as much awkwardness as possible and also to give her another chance to cry openly on national TV about being dumped months before....on national TV. Good luck in the dating world after this performance, honey!

BUT, the shocker of all shockers (insert sarcastic eye rolling here), Jason actually flipped chicks!! He DUMPED Melissa on National TV, she in turn started ranting and raving and referring to herself in the third person, called him a Bastard, and returned the ring, stomping off stage demanding he never call or text her again. I was like, wait a minute, what about email can he email you? But I digress, so, Jason responded by bursting into tears and doing his trademark sob-int0-both-hands bit. Do not despair, Molly then came out on stage to say that she did in fact, still love him, her feelings have not changed, and Jason then said "GREAT!! Because I just kicked Melissa to the curb 5 minutes ago! Let's go get some coffee and date now!" Molly just smiled and gasped and gasped and smiled and said "Let's do it!"

And they kissed and made out and smiled at each other and made out again and ran off stage together holding hands and laughing.

So I don't know.....I am dumb. It's true. And if you read this whole thing in it's entirety I apologize. I really do. But don't hate the player, hate the game.....I had to get my feelings out, and I will be doing everything I can today to try to produce new brain cells. I hear eating lots of bananas is good for your brain?