Chon mot mau sac!

As much as I LOATHE the pedicure process, I adore the pedicure result. Since it's mid-April it's time to start attending to our feet with a little more gusto and ooomph, ladies. I just had my first pedi of the season yesterday, and it wasn't too excruciating. What was painful, however, was the consistent language barrier I have with the ladies who work at my fave nail spot. This is usually how it goes once I walk in the door:

"CAN I HEP YOUUUUU?!?"

"Yes I'd like a pedic....(abruptly interrupted)"

"OKAY PICK A CAHLA"

So then, once my color is selected, which is usually an arduous process that takes about 5 minutes since this is a BIG decision, (Pink? No, red. NO! MIDNIGHT! No, pink. Dark pink? No, pale pink. NO CHERRY RED! Noooo....etc etc etc....) I make my way to my pedi-chair which I always have to have moved way back from the tub because my legs are too long. You probably think I shouldn't complain about having long legs but trust me, if the chair isn't moved back then cramping ensues which ultimately turns into a charlie horse and a scene is made as I stand up, shouting out in pain and noone ever wants to be witness to that. Mainly I am speaking of the nail lady who is working on my feet, and who doesn't speak English so doesn't understand what I am talking about, especially when I jump up suddenly, questionnably yelling a word she may understand, like "HORSE".

Which brings me to the point of this all......the language barrier.

First of all, I came in for a pedicure. That's all. Just a pedicure. I don't appreciate it when scenarios like these arise, which is what happened yesterday.

"YOU WAN EYEBROW WAX"

"no thank you"

"NOT A QUESTION YOU NEED EYEBROW WAX"

Okay, offend me why don't you!!

And then, after you say no again, she talks to her colleagues in her native tongue and hilarity ensues. The giggling, the whispering, it's all so nerve wracking! I imagine that they are of course talking about me and ripping me to shreds. This is what they were probably saying:

"She totally needs an eyebrow wax, who does this bitch think she is, Frida Kahlo?"

"Totally....don't even get me started on her upper lip!"
"HAHAHAHA SSSOOOO TRRUUUEE!!!!"

"And while we're at it, she could use a face transplant"

"TOTALLY! Caucasians are so weird looking especially this tall one with the yellow hair"

"She is so freakishly tall. I wonder if she can dunk?"

I always leave there with lovely feet but a bruised ego. Honestly they most def aren't talking about me, except for the minor jab here and there about the condition of my feet, but it's still fun slash infuriating to think they are talking about me. I must learn Vietnamese this summer....