With an Oink Oink Here, and a Sneeze Sneeze There!

News of the "swine flu" is sweeping the globe at sprint speed, but unfortunately the flu itself is spreading at a snail's pace. I am scared. And here is why, this will blow (pun intended) you away:


A single sneeze propels 100,000 droplets into the air at around 90 mph, landing on door knobs, ATM keypads, elevator buttons, escalator railings, and grocery cart handles. In a subway station at rush hour, according to British researchers, as many as 10 percent of all commuters can come in contact with the spray and residue from just one sneeze (or sternutation). That means as many as 150 commuters can be sickened by one uncovered achoo.


Holy.

Mother.

Of.

God.


So, what can you do to protect yourself? It's simple:
1. Sanitize -- i.e. Wash Your Hands Frequently.
80 percent of all infections are spread by hands. So everytime you touch ANYTHING wash your hand. Or use hand sanitizer. Don't shake hands. With anyone. Who cares if they think you are rude.
2. Avoid -- i.e. Engage in "Social Distancing."
That means, stay at home. If you are forced to go to a crowded public place, you are supposed to distance yourself by 6' from others.

You know.......it's too bad, because my office is very crowded and I have to come here in order to maintain my lifestyle. Every day. So in order to survive, I have to come to a crowded place, which in the end could potentially kill me. Super.
3. Be Alert -- i.e. Recognize the Symptoms and Get Help.

Swine flu symptoms are similar to regular flu: Fever, body aches, sore throat, cough, runny nose, vomiting, diarrhea, and lethargy.

FYI I am lethargic at 2:00 everyday, Mondays through Fridays. Swine Flu.


To summarize:
Wash your hands. Don't go to work. Go immediately to the hospital at the first sign of anything, good or bad. Do you have the shivers because it's chilly in your diseased office building? It's swine flu. Did you eat too much at lunch and are uncomfortably full? Swine flu. Did someone look at you from the other side of the street that appeared to have possibly had a stuffed nose? Swine flu, go to the hospital ASAP.



Sometimes I like sensationalized stories. But not this one. I feel sick as I write this....