Great Barrier Reef, Here I Come!

Our kooky friends from Down Under are so wonderfully creative and so much more than just Koala Bears, Midnight Oil, Vegemite and throwing another shrimp on the barbie. Everything Australian makes us smile, let's be honest. Boxing Kangaroos, Steve Irwin (ohhhh, RIP, mate), deliciously warm UGG Boots, Bondi Beach lifeguards, a frosty Foster's Lager, Priscilla: Queen of the Desert......and now, the 'High Tide Heel'! It's about time someone designed something like this, I've been looking for something to go with my bedazzled mask and snorkle.

Greatest Commercial on TV!

This conveys it's message in the most profound and adorable way! I love this!

Real Housewives of Atlanta Finale Tonight

The fat ladies (except for drag queen Sheree) sing tonight! I can't wait to see the Lisa-Kim, Kim-NeNe showdowns, y'all!

One More Month till Christmas Eve People!

And by 'people' I mean my boyfriend. You better get started on your Holiday shopping if you haven't already started! And by 'you', again, I mean my boyfriend. Now is the time of year for us gals to start leaving hints and friendly suggestions around the house. I plan on leaving certain catalogs (and by 'certain' I mean Tiffany, J Crew, Anthropologie, etc), with specific items post-it-noted in the following areas of the house:

• Back of the toilets
• Underwear drawer
• Gently laid out on his pillow
• On top of humidors (yes, in our house we have humidorS, plural)
• Inside refrigerator
• On refrigerator door
• On top of gas grill
• Inside medicine cabinet
• Bathroom sinks
• Glove compartment & front seat of car
• Underneath TV remote control
• In laptop bag

Obnoxious, no? : )

Brief relief in a haze of major congestion. MAJAH.

Well. I am still sick. I will spare you every little mucus-y, sneezey, achey, chapped detail. I guess those were details, sorry. I just want to suggest that the next time you get a cold, you buy Puffs Plus Lotion with Vicks. You ever so gently blow your nose without the pain of a scratchy tissue, and you also have the bonus of inhaling a little Vicks in all it's menthol glory. I still feel like ass, for lack of a better description, but during that fleeting moment of (and let's be honest) unpleasant-for-me-and-all-those-around-me nose blowing life is a little better. Even though it only lasts a few seconds.

Pray for me.

R.I.P. Talbots

Mom, I am so sorry about Talbots closing. I actually can't imagine your closet without seeing that label on every coat hanger, hook and shelf. Please know we are all thinking of you during this very difficult time, and let all the wonderful years you and Talbots spent together sustain you. And whatever you do, please do not start shopping for velour sequined twin sets at the Quacker Factory. Or maybe do, it would be kinda hilarious....

Anyway, Holiday Shoppers Beware!! LOTS and LOTS and LOTS of retailers are closing their doors, so don't plan on buying any Gift Certificates from the following:

Ann Taylor- 117 stores nationwide are to be shuttered

Lane Bryant, Fashion Bug,and Catherine’s to close 150 stores nationwide

Eddie Bauer to close stores 27 stores and more after January

Cache will close all stores

Talbots closing down all stores

J. Jill closing all storesGAP closing 85 stores

Footlocker closing 140 stores more to close after January

Wickes Furniture closing down

Levitz closing down remaining stores

Bombay closing remaining stores

Zales closing down 82 stores and 105 after January.

Whitehall closing all stores

Piercing Pagoda closing all stores

Disney closing 98 stores and will close more after January.

Home Depot closing 15 stores 1 in NJ (New Brunswick)

Macys to close 9 stores after January

Linens and Things closing all stores

Movie Galley Closing all stores

Pacific Sunware closing stores

Pep Boys Closing 33 stores

Sprint/ Nextel closing 133 stores

JC Penney closing a number of stores after January

Ethan Allen closing down 12 stores.

Wilson Leather closing down all stores

Sharper Image closing down all stores

K B Toys closing 356 storesLoews to close down some stores

Dillard’s to close some stores

YIKES! Times is tough, times is tough.....

Jeanne Bice / Quacker Factory, QVC live blog

I'm sick.

I got this cold that came on like a freight train and have been bed ridden all day. I have gotten very acquainted with my three new best friends today:

• Hot Chicken Stock in a Mug that my kind, sweet man keeps bringing me
• Puffs Plus with Aloe Lotion
• Jeanne Bice from the Quacker Factory on QVC

No explanation needed for the first two. Much explanation needed for that last one....

Who is Jeanne Bice you ask? She is a 'designer' or, Head Quack, who owns a line of clothing called Quacker Factory that is sold on QVC, and also the author of the book 'Pull Yourself Up By Your Bra Straps & Other Quacker Wisdom'. Oh dear. I bet Quacker Factory is one of those clothing lines that if you are a size 8 everywhere else, then you should buy a size 4 from her line because everything is hhhhhaaahhhugggge!! Great for the ego size-wise, terrible for the ego and reputation aesthetically. Today they have been selling her Holiday collection and oh my goodness I just looked up and she is now wearing a red Rudolph nose, this in addition to her rolled up scarf she is wearing around her head sweatband style. She talks about God a lot. And I don't understand why right now she is talking about bathing in mashed sweet potatotes. Anyway, her clothing line is large, boxy, appliqued and sequined, usually in the form of sweatshirts and velour twin sets. It's all novelty, according to holiday and time of year, and it's crap, but I have been watching it since 6:00 and it's now 6:57 and I plan on watching it till Quacker Factory ends on QVC at 8:00. Here is a list of the more interesting items sold today:

1. Sparkle Velour Flying Reindeer Long Dress


2. Holiday Motif Mock Neck Sweater


3. Rhinestone Motif Corduroy Shirt and Knit Top


4. Holiday Motif Zip Cardigan with Removable Scarf


5. Sequins and Beads Tunic Sweater


6. Snowflake Stretch Denim 5 Pocket Jeans


7. Nativity Scene Sequined Sweatshirt


8. Snowmen Balancing Act Cardigan with Maribou Trim
   

Right now she is eating a turkey sandwich and suggesting we wear bright yellow shoes with our little black dress! Where the hell is Tim Gunn right now....You should watch this when you get the chance and listen to her, she's crazy. She convinces you that people will stop you on the street or in the airport and demand you tell them exactly where you got your purple stretch velour rhinestone zip front jacket and matching pants with the sequined cross on the back. It's Quackin'. I am almost ready to kick down my $53.12 for it, that's how convincing she is.

I cannot and will not change the channel until this is over.

'True Blood' - My Program

Well since I am past the age of 35, I have become that lady with 'programs'. Just like my Nana and Grammy before me, I now have my 'programs'. Having 'programs' entails the following: declining social invitations because they interfere with whatever you have scheduled yourself to watch that night, leaving social engagements (dinner, drinks out with the girls, etc) in order to get home in time, getting ready for bed prior to the show, teeth brushed, face washed, possible mask or other facial treatment, putting on something cozy, getting underneath a warm blanket, and, if I had long hair still, putting it up in those pink styrofoam rollers. Anyway, True Blood is one of my programs. I have been bitten thank you very much! Season One ends this Sunday night and I am already experiencing withdrawal symptoms and severe anxiety pondering life without it. Do you watch it? What do you think is going to happen?

A few more of my favorite things...

....had a busy weekend, packed full of excitement, so had to take some time off from my blog and why do I get the funny feeling noone noticed?!? Ahhh, no worries, my faithfuls, I am back on the board, working away on fresh new posts for your enjoyment. Patience, my faithfuls, patience. So stop with the texting, and the incessant calling, and the showing up at my office and my doorstep at home begging for more, okay? It's coming....

Actually noone has done any of those things.

Anyway, we went to NY for the weekend and had a great time! Saw 'Wicked' at the Gerswhin Theater on Saturday night. I know Manhattan is full of surprises and is the city where absolutely anything can happen, but get this, we were there during a Tornado warning. So what better thing to do during a tornado warning than to go see 'Wicked'! Isn't that ironic. We were safe and sound in the theater and completely engrossed in the fabulousness of all that is Wicked. If you haven't seen this production yet, GO SEE IT! Even though it was the second time I saw it, it was just as amazing as the first time.

Also went to the Giants game yesterday. They stomped all over the Ravens. STOMP STOMP STOMP, it was awesome. I froze to death but had a blast. Wasn't a fan of the dangerously low blackhawk helicopter fly-over. I quite literally high fived the pilot as he swooped in by our seats. Well, not quite literally, but you get what I'm talking about.

Hope everyone had a great weekend!

Lets see the Dog Whisperer do this!!

This is absolutely amazing. You won't believe it!!

Mixty Ixty Look Who's Sixty!

I was trying to find something like Lordy Lordy Look Who's Forty but couldn't think of anything nearly as clever. Anyway, HAPPY BDAY PRINCE CHARLES! I can't believe it, but our big-eared Charlie is 60 today. Can you believe it? Nope I can't either.

In a recent interview he did regarding his 'annus sixtius', he answered this when asked about his thoughts on resuming the throne once QE2 dies,

'It is all in the hands of the Good Lord as to whether I survive - or am vaguely compos mentis'.

COMPOS MENTIS!!! OMG LOL that is sssssssoooooooo PC (Prince Charles)!! For those of you who did not have Mrs. Kline for Latin, which I did, compos mentis means 'of sound mind'. It's so very royyyyyyyyyaallll to pop in latin words and phrases, and then expect hilariousness to ensue. I bet he and Camilla have full on convos in latin. I am sure she asks him "Why the long face?" in latin on an almost daily basis.

Now, what to give the man who has everything for his birthday? More latin phrases, of course!!! These are my suggestions for PC's random use in the future:

• Feles mala! cur cista non uteris? stramentum novum in ea posui!! - Bad kitty! Why don't you use the cat box? I put new litter in it!!
  
• Credo elvem etiam vivere - I believe Elvis lives
  
• Cum homine de cane debeo congredi - Excuse me. I've got to see a man about a dog


• Diabolus fecit, ut id facerem! - The devil made me do it!


• Qualem muleirculam! - What a bimbo!


• Fortunatus sum! Pila mea de gramine horrido modo in pratum lene recta volvit! - Isn't that lucky! My ball just rolled out of the rough and onto the fairway!


• Mater tua criceta fuit, et pater tuo redoluit bacarum sambucus - Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries


• Orbes volantes exstare - Flying saucers are real


• Visne saltare? Viam Latam Fungosam scio - Do you want to dance? I know the Funky Broadway


• Veni, Vidi, Visa - I Came, I Saw, I Shopped
  
• Animadvertistine, ubicumque stes, fumum recta in faciem ferri? - (At a barbeque) Ever noticed how wherever you stand, the smoke goes right into your face?


• Catapultam habeo. Nisi pecuniam omnem mihi dabis, ad caput tuum saxum immane mittam - I have a catapult. Give me all your money, or I will fling an enormous rock at your head


• Interdum feror cupidine partium magnarum europe vincendarum - Sometimes I get this urge to conquer large parts of Europe


• Semper ubi sub ubi ubique - Always wear underwear everywhere
  
• Latine loqui coactus sum - I have this compulsion to speak Latin
  

There you have it, my gift to you. Happy Birthday, Prince Charles.

HABETIS BONA DEUM! (Have a nice day)!

This is one fertile dude

Thomas Beatie is preggers. Again.

He was born a woman but was, eh hem, 'reassigned' surgically. From what I understand this reassignment consisted only of a double mastectomy as his ovaries and uterus are still clearly intact, fired up and ready to roll. I guess the major part of his reassignment were the legal implications more than anything, as all of his official documents identify him as a man. His wife Nancy is infertile, so he had to be the 'carrier', and after giving birth in July to a daughter, he did not resume his male hormone treatment and underwent a successful artificial insemination, as he is now in his second trimester with baby #2.

I am sorry, but he's not a man. Men have pee-pees and prostates and egos and Adams Apples, and don't complain about cramps, bloating and irritability. I am happy he and Nancy who are in love and committed to each other can be and are legally acknowledged as man and wife, but, HE is not pregnant. The SHE part of him is pregnant. So confusing.....

Hostess with the Mostess

I recently came across this cake from a redneck wedding, made entirely out of Hostess products; Twinkies, HoHos, Cupcakes, Ring Dings, Snowballs, etc.


There really are no words.....

......and I think it's cute.

These are a few of my favorite things...

When I saw this Gingerbread Fenway Park at the Christmas Expo last weekend, I just about exploded with emotion. Two of my favorite things, the Red Sox, and Christmas. I sing the song 'It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year' twice a year; once when I come screaming down the stairs to see what Papi Christmas has brought me on Christmas Day in December, and then again when I skip gleefully to Fenway Park on Opening Day in April to watch Big Papi launch 'em over the wall. I don't know the lyrics to the song, just the title part, but I think it's fitting for both special days in my life, and should be sung accordingly......and loudly. Thank you, Andy Williams.

Isn't this gingerbread 'house' amazing? Every architectural detail is accurate, right down to signage and scale. Unbelievable!!

Happy Veteran's Day!

I would like to give an enormous shout out on this day to my brother, Doug, who is a Lt. Colonel, United States Marine Corps. Doug is a veteran of several wars including The Gulf War, Mogadishu, and two deployments to Iraq, where he was based in Hit and Fallujah.

Thank you Doug, for doing what I am way too big of a princess and wimp to do. I can't handle a mosquito flying near my face, so I can't imagine what it must be like dodging RPG's. I must also give three snaps up in a Z formation to our Mom, (who likes to remain anonymous so again we shall call her Mo) who in a way is a veteran herself. Mo, you have braved the face of wars Doug has served in with dignity and unrelenting spirit. You too, are a hero.

I would be remiss if I didn't say thanks to Doug's colleagues at US Southern Command at Fort MacDill, Florida, who I am sure are all faithful readers of the world according to jojo hahaaaaaaa not but seriously I am sure they are faithful readers.....

I honor you all with sincere thanks. You are all heroes who do a great job and should be honored everyday.

I think my thanks is appreciated by you, but I know you deserve more. I will try to do something that is scary and out of my comfort zone, to honor you. So, for today and today only, just for you, I will say this:

GO BUCS!!

Now, we have to talk about the cahk....

Get your mind out of the gutter......................

Remember Martin Short's hilarious portrayal of a wedding planner, Frahnk, in 'Father of the Bride' ?? And he says 'cahk' and Steve Martin is all bug eyed wondering what the hell he is talking about?!? Loved that scene. Well now I want to talk about cahk.

Yesterday afternoon was a day I devoted to mopping the floors. Usually this is the worst job evs but the plus side is that once I finish mopping the floors of one room, I have to sit and wait for the floor to dry before I can continue onto the next room. And eat Halloween Candy. I know the Patriots were on and I should have been watching, but they make me too nervous these days (Get well soon Tom. Seriously. SOON.) so I watched 'Amazing Cakes' on WE Channel instead. The show follows the process that three different bakers go through in order to create the most, well, amazing cake possible. This show got me thinking, so I googled 'amazing cakes' and the first one up was http://www.mikesamazingcakes.com/, which is less than interesting a website name. Might as well be called mikeandhislameasswebsite. I wasn't grabbed. I mean really, Mike, how amazing can they be with a boring name like that. Get over yourself, Mike. But I took a leap of faith and clicked on the site, and was, well, AMAZED. Seriously, this guy Mike's understated website name lent nothing to the imagination and pretty much had me judging him to do nothing but disappoint and then BAM!! Talk about CAHK!!! Please check this site out when you have the chance!

It's got Parm and cream, how bad can that be?!?

Ahhhh......j'adore Ina Gartner, a.k.a The Barefoot Contessa. She's always adding lots of cream, lots of cheese, lots of butter.....to everything. And after adding she says, "How bad can THAT be?!" It may be the classic french technique, non? On Sundays, I like to make Ina's Herbed Baked Eggs. Now, don't be intimated by the fresh ingredients. I know most of us don't carry fresh thyme, rosemary and parsley in our fridge regularly. And that's okay, it can still be a party (as Ina loves to say) using dried herbs from your pantry! Or in my case, my cupboard, as I am pantry-less, and please note that there is the letter 'r' there. I do think it is important, though, to use fresh grated Parmesean instead of that canned stuff you buy in the spaghetti aisle. Pooooo.....

If you can somehow incorporate the classic french technique into this dish I suggest doing so. And if you do, please let me know what, exactly, the classic french technique is. I would be most appreciative.

Please note that it actually IS important to have the eggs cracked open and ready to go.... (put them in a separate bowls, according to how many herbed egg dishes you are putting them in).....when Ina suggests this, she means it, and she rarely speaks so firmly to us, so take it seriously people.

Also, if you don't have a 'gratin' dish, (pronounced 'gra-taaaaaaannnn' and be sure to lock your jaw) which historically is a small round ceramic dish about 4" in diameter, do not fret, mon frere. If you have an oven safe cereal bowl or small baking dish use that. I did the first time I made it and all went magnifique. However, the next time I was at Ikea I made sure to pick some up, they were like, three bucks for three.

Here is the recipe and s'il vous plait make every effort to make it someday, if not aujourd hui.

Ingredients
1/4 teaspoon minced fresh garlic
1/4 teaspoon minced fresh thyme leaves (dried okay too)
1/4 teaspoon minced fresh rosemary leaves (and again, dried is fine)
1 tablespoon minced fresh parsley (maybs u should go get some of this)
1 tablespoon freshly grated Parmesan (def go get some of this....and throw a little extra on there...1 tbsp is simply not enough, in my opins)
6 extra-large eggs
2 tablespoons heavy cream (I use half n half and once even used skim milk) 1 tablespoon unsalted butter
Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper
Toasted French bread or brioche, for serving (bagel or wheat toast is fine)

Directions
Preheat the broiler for 5 minutes and place the oven rack 6 inches below the heat.
Combine the garlic, thyme, rosemary, parsley, and Parmesan and set aside. Carefully crack 3 eggs into each of 2 small bowls or teacups (you won't be baking them in these) without breaking the yolks. (It's very important to have all the eggs ready to go before you start cooking.)
Place 2 individual gratin dishes on a baking sheet. Place 1 tablespoon of cream and 1/2 tablespoon of butter in each dish and place under the broiler for about 3 minutes, until hot and bubbly. Quickly, but carefully, pour 3 eggs into each gratin dish and sprinkle evenly with the herb mixture, then sprinkle liberally with salt and pepper. Place back under the broiler for 5 to 6 minutes, until the whites of the eggs are almost cooked. (Rotate the baking sheet once if they aren't cooking evenly.) The eggs will continue to cook after you take them out of the oven. Allow to set for 60 seconds and serve hot with toasted bread.

And that's how it is done mes amis!! FYI the eggs should only be a little runny. It's delicious, it truly is. And from what I understand Jeffrey Gartner loves this dish, when he's home in East Hampton, which clearly is never as Ina is always entertatining her florist friends and construction workers, and very rarely Jeffrey, but I digress......

Oh Mi Dios Becky!!!

WARNING: This is a leave-your-brain-at-the-door-blog-post today.

Have you every played with that tool on Google, the Translation Tool? It's hilarious. All you do is enter "Translation Tool" in the search box and voila! One real knee-slapper is to translate rap song lyrics from English to another language, liiiiiiiiiike, saaaayyyyyyy, Spanish, and then take the Spanish and translate it BACK into English. They get it all wrong!! And it's super funny! Here is an example, using a classic from Sir Mix A Lot's "Baby Got Back" in which he sings about his love for big butts (hey Kim Kardashian!):
First, the ORIGINAL lyrics in English:
Oh my god Becky, look at her butt Its so big She looks like one of those rap guys girlfriends Who understands those rap guys They only talk to her because she looks like a total prostitute I mean her butt It's just so big I can't believe it's so round It's just out there I mean, it's gross Look, she's just so black
[Rap]I like big butts and I can not lie You other brothers can't deny That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist And a round thing in your face You get sprung Wanna pull up tough Cuz you notice that butt was stuffed Deep in the jeans she's wearing I'm hooked and I can't stop staring Oh, baby I wanna get with ya And take your picture My homeboys tried to warn me But that butt you got Make Me so horney Ooh, rump of smooth skin You say you wanna get in my benz Well use me use me cuz you aint that average groupy
I've seen them dancin' To hell with romancin' She's Sweat,Wet, got it goin like a turbo vette
I'm tired of magazines Saying flat butts are the thing Take the average black man and ask him that She gotta pack much back
So Fellas (yeah) Fellas(yeah) Has your girlfriend got the butt (hell yeah)Well shake it, shake it, shake it, shake it, shake that healthy butt Baby got back
Now, the lyrics translated to Spanish:

Oh mi dios Becky, busque en su trasero Su tan grande Ella se ve como uno de esos chicos rap novias ¿Quién entiende a los muchachos rap Ellos sólo hablar con ella porque ella se parece a un total de prostituta Me refiero a su trasero Es tan grande No puedo creer que es tan redondo Es justo allí Quiero decir, es en cifras brutas Mira, ella es tan negro [Rap] Me gustan las grandes colillas y no puedo mentir Usted otros hermanos no puede negar Que cuando una chica camina con una cintura Bitty itty Y una cosa redonda en su cara Usted obtiene surgido ¿Quieres levantar dura Primo usted nota que fue culo de peluche De profundidad, en el jeans que llevaba la Estoy enganchado y no puedo dejar de mirarles Oh, nena Quiero llegar ya con Y tomar su imagen Mi homeboys trató de advertir a mí Sin embargo, que culo tienes Haz de mí a fin de Horney Ooh, grupa de piel lisa Usted dice que desea obtener en mi Benz Bueno me uso el uso que usted me primo no es que el promedio de groupy He visto de baile Al infierno con romancin " Ella es el sudor, mojado, tengo pasa como un turbo Vette Estoy cansado de revistas Decir plana colillas son la cosa Tomar el promedio de hombre negro y le ruego que Ella tiene que volver mucho paquete Así Muchachos (sí) Fellas (sí) ¿Ha establecido su novia se la culata (si el infierno) Así que agitar, agitar él, que agitar, agitar ella, que agite sano culata Bebe volvió

Now, the lyrics translated from Spanish BACK to English using the Google Translation Tool:
Oh my god Becky, look at your ass Its so great She looks like one of those rap guys girlfriends Who understands the boys rap They only talk to her because she looks like a total prostitute I refer to your ass It's so big I can not believe that is so round It's just there I mean, is gross Look, she is so black [Rap] I like big butts and I can not lie You other brothers can not deny That when a girl walks with a waist Itty Bitty And a round thing in your face You get arisen Want hard adjourning Primo you note that was stuffed ass Deep in the jeans wearing the I'm hooked and I can not stop staring Oh, baby I want to reach and And take your picture My homeboys tried to warn me However, it got ass Beam me so Horney Ooh, a group of smooth skin You say you want to get in my Benz Well I use your use my cousin is not that the average groupy I've seen dance To hell with romancin " She's sweat, wet, I am going like a turbo Vette I'm tired of magazines Saying flat butts are the thing Take the average black man and ask him to She has to go back a long package So guys (yes) Fellas (yes) Has your girlfriend was the butt (if hell) So shake, shake it, shake it, shake it, shake that healthy butt Baby again

Hillllaaaaaaaaairrrrrrrrriousssssssssss!!

Forgive me Father, for I have....wait a minute, you look FABULOUS!!!

My Mom (who has requested I protect her anonymity so from now on we will refer to her as Mo) just got back from a fabulous trip to Rome . Mo knows Rome, and even though she has been before, Rome wouldn't be complete without trips to the Parthenon, The Colliseum, Museums, Cathedrals, and delightful rustic trattorias serving nothing but the best authentic Roman cuisine. If it weren't for a nasty tumble she took on a rogue cobblestone en route to the Trevi Fountain, it would've been the perfect trip, but alas, Mo came home with a spectacular Roman shiner, gladiator style! I personally think she looks cute, but I digress....

One day, after Mass with his papalness Benedict and several thousand other pilgrims, Mo decided to meander the streets of the area to check out the local color. Literally. Seeing all the Cardinals and Ben in his Pope-Mobile wasn't enough, there were unanswered questions, like, where do they shop, or DO they shop? Who creates those unbelievable garments? Such ornamentation on every cassock and vestment, embroidery in all hues, and richly decorated stoles, bell sleeves and hats. Where does a padre find these things?

Mo came across several boutiques where our Blessed friends actually shop. I have attached photos of the store fronts. The first and third photos are examples of such Ecclesiastical Tailoring shops. One word: FABBBBBULLLLOUSSSS! But wait a minute, why so bland for our Sister friends? I mean, why do the men get these ornate outfits and the women a blue apron, habit and trench coat? I understand that male clergy traditionally needed to separate themselves from the 'common' man, and in order to be heard, I mean REALLY heard, they needed to have a little eye catching sass. But that still doesn't answer my question as to the plainness of the Nuns vestments. Would a little gold embroidery somewhere hurt? They are married to God, but don't they want to look pretty for him? Don't they need to be heard?!? No one expects a nun to be a fashion plate. Nuns take an oath of poverty and sacrifice the possibility of a husband, children, sex and stylish clothes. This to prove their committment to the Pope and God. But don't the men clergy make the same committment? But they get to wear red and purple and black and the occasional gold lame with embroidery and fringe?!?! I don't get it!!

My First Experience Redistributing My Wealth

It is with great sadness that in January we must say farewell to our little Scottish friends, Barney and Miss Beazley. They have served us well, providing us with appearances not only on the White House lawn, but in several critically acclaimed films including Barney Cam I (2002), Barney and Spot's (RIP Spotty, we will never forget you!) Winter Wonderland (2003), Barney Cam II (2003), Where in the White House is Miss Beazley? (Barney Cam III, 2004), Barney has found Miss Beazley (2005), Barney and Miss Beazley's Spring Garden Tour (2005), A Very Beazley Christmas (Barney Cam IV, 2005), and Barney's Holiday Extravaganza (Barney Cam V, 2006). I especially enjoyed these little Scotties so this Halloween, when they debuted in their carefully thought upon costumes, Barney as a Cowboy, and Miss Beazley as a Strawberry, the most delicious of all Republican fruits. I would be remiss if I didn't give a shout out to the Bush's black cat, India, a.k.a. Willie, who, might I add, chose to be a Wizard this Halloween.

Now, you are probably asking, 'What does that have to do with Redistribution of Wealth'?

Well let me tell you......

Tuesday night in Chicago, President-Elect Obama announced in his acceptance speech, "Sasha and Malia, I love you both so much, and you have earned the new puppy that's coming with us to the White House." Prior to the election, I had a dark gloomy cloud hovering over me as the thought of a White House without Barney and Miss Beazley seemed like a White House without love, without hope....no more joyful reunions on the front lawn after a helicopter landing?!?! The thought of it made me feel empty inside. So my sudden sense of optimism moved me to find out a little more about this pending new first pup. What breed would they consider? Golden Retriever? Chocolate Lab? Bulldog with lipstick? Well after many a sleepless night researching the Obama's intentions at adding four feet to their family, I discovered they will liberate a presidential pup from the Animal Rescue League!!!

Of which I am a FAITHFUL supporter, donating tens of dollars per year!!

So there, there is my first distribution of my wealth.

YOU ARE WELCOME, SIR.

The Virgin Blogg-ueen

Kinda like the Virgin Queen, Elizabeth the Somethingth, except without the scary wigs, outstandingly starchy huge lace collars and shaved eyebrows. Anyway, HELLO. I am a virgin blogger, as I have nevs done this before but I have so much to say about very important issues, like, what's going on on The Hills, or, how many times The Barefoot Contessa suggests we use the classic french technique, of which I am still not familiar with, mais je m'éloigne du sujet, or, is Kim from The Real Housewives of Atlanta really 29, and is that her real hair?!?! Importance, all issues of importance....
On my blog I shall be commenting on random events, news, television nonsense, things I wish I could buy but can't afford, cooking, common life events, not so common life events, the T, sports, decorating, friends, family, entertaining, adventures from a night on the town, gossip, etc etc you get the pic. I will be offering polls so you too, can be a participant in the world according to moi. I will be open to suggestions on anything in particular...if you have thoughts on something that you would like to hear about, fire away! I will do my research and give you the best damn blog evs.

Winter is coming people! That means more indoor time for all of us, unless you are Sarah Palin. Winter is that magical time of year that gives me ample amount of time to sit and creatively share my thoughts on total randomness, and plenty of time for you to cuddle up with your cat, or gin and tonic and read all about it.

I hope you enjoy it and I hope I get a huge cult following from all of this. I am serious!!! It could happen.........