I'm sick.I got this cold that came on like a freight train and have been bed ridden all day. I have gotten very acquainted with my three new best friends today:
- Hot Chicken Stock in a Mug that my kind, sweet man keeps bringing me
- Puffs Plus with Aloe Lotion
- Jeanne Bice from the Quacker Factory on QVC
No explanation needed for the first two. Much explanation needed for that last one....
Who is Jeanne Bice you ask? She is a 'designer' or, Head Quack, who owns a line of clothing called Quacker Factory that is sold on QVC, and also the author of the book 'Pull Yourself Up By Your Bra Straps & Other Quacker Wisdom'. Oh dear. I bet Quacker Factory is one of those clothing lines that if you are a size 8 everywhere else, then you should buy a size 4 from her line because everything is hhhhhaaahhhugggge!! Great for the ego size-wise, terrible for the ego and reputation aesthetically. Today they have been selling her Holiday collection and oh my goodness I just looked up and she is now wearing a red Rudolph nose, this in addition to her rolled up scarf she is wearing around her head sweatband style. She talks about God a lot. And I don't understand why right now she is talking about bathing in mashed sweet potatotes. Anyway, her clothing line is large, boxy, appliqued and sequined, usually in the form of sweatshirts and velour twin sets. It's all novelty, according to holiday and time of year, and it's crap, but I have been watching it since 6:00 and it's now 6:57 and I plan on watching it till Quacker Factory ends on QVC at 8:00. Here is a list of the more interesting items sold today:
- Sparkle Velour Flying Reindeer Long Dress
- Holiday Motif Mock Neck Sweater
- Rhinestone Motif Corduroy Shirt and Knit Top
- Holiday Motif Zip Cardigan with Removable Scarf
- Sequins and Beads Tunic Sweater
- Snowflake Stretch Denim 5 Pocket Jeans
- Nativity Scene Sequined Sweatshirt
- Snowmen Balancing Act Cardigan with Maribou Trim
Right now she is eating a turkey sandwich and suggesting we wear bright yellow shoes with our little black dress! Where the hell is Tim Gunn right now....You should watch this when you get the chance and listen to her, she's crazy. She convinces you that people will stop you on the street or in the airport and demand you tell them exactly where you got your purple stretch velour rhinestone zip front jacket and matching pants with the sequined cross on the back. It's Quackin'. I am almost ready to kick down my $53.12 for it, that's how convincing she is.
I cannot and will not change the channel until this is over.
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