.: Real Catfight of New York

There is so much more to what happened on last night's Real Housewives of New York that I simply can't touch upon it all. Basically, in a nut shell, everyone fought with everyone else about who between all of them sucked more. It was like watching a 20 car pile-up on the Interstate. You didn't want to watch, yet you couldn't pull your eyes away.

Below I have done a photo recap of my fave catfight of the night, between Bethenny and Kelly. Bethenny remained as cool as the other side of the pillow, while Kelly flew into rages and reamined as incoherent and nonsensical as is humanly possible. I think she was on coke or was heavily doused in gin, I am not sure, but judging by what was coming out of her mouth in addition to the cashmere off the shoulder mini-dress she paired with pink rubber gardening boots, I think inebriation of some sort is her only excuse.

Here is my version of what happened, which I swear to you is pretty much what DID happen, except in my own words:

You're Late

Ohhhh reeeeallllaaayyyy, Bethenny? Honnnesstttllaaayyy is that what you think? Because I said meet me at 7:00 and it's now past 7:30, so I'm not late. You think you're so funny.

I never said I was funny. And you're late.

Ohhhh rreeeallllaayyyy, hhonnnessstttlllaayyyy? You are so beneath me. This is you (hand gestured way down low) and this is me (hand gestured way up high). Because I'm better than you.

Why do you get to be the higher hand? Because you're taller?

Ohhhh reeeeallllaaayyy, hhhonnnessttlllaaayyy Bethenny, you're not funny, just get in your head that we will never be friends, got it?

Correct

Ha! Haha! HAHAHAAAA!!! OMG! Littterrralllaaayyy, you are so beneath me so, stop begging! Noone thinks you're funny! We will NEVER EVER EVER be friends.